Comparisions:how unhealthy it can be?

How unique we all are? ...We are all special.
 Each one is unique in his or her own way.One may be a topper in school,one may be a 1st class singer,another may be a dancer,a thinker.One has no right to underestimate anybody or for that matter degrade anyone.There are some who become famous...but many who due to various reasons do not become famous,but are equally talented.
Why dont we let that uniqueness remain as such?Why do we always have to compare with the other person?This Comparision starts as early as from birth.
If the child is puny compare it with another which is chubby.If it starts talking late then you can hear someone saying that"My child started talking right from the time he was 7 months old"leaving the mother anxious.If he is naughty then say that he has become "asadu"and he has to become "samathhu' like his neighbour.
These type of comparisions can leave them feeling useless and frustrated in the long run.

My brother says that all the children are born intelligent and it is we who spoil them with our advice, anxiety,temper,comparision etc.Is it right on our part to do so?Children have to learn by themselves ..only thing is we should provide them with a safe environment.Let there be no comparision...no unhealthy comparisions.
You may ask me what is "Unhealthy Comparision'.When comparisions lead to unhealthy competitions and unnecessary rivalry then it becomes unhealthy. [a common situation in Tamil serials]...Still comparative method of study is famous in Administration
Woodrow wilson says"If I see a murderous person sharpening a knife cleverly,I can borrow his way of sharpening the knife without his probable intention to commit murder with it."This according to me is a nice way of learning new things.Here no one else does the comparision.It is we who do the study and incorporate what is good for us.

Nice piece on "Silence"

Recently I came across a book "In the sphere of Silence" by vijay eswaran.It is a very interesting read.
Till then I had my own doubts about the adage"Speech is silver,Silence is Golden"...But after I went throught the book I was convinced that silence is indeed Golden.Eventhough one cannot live without communicating with anyone,most of the problems in life can be avoided or reduced by not speaking.
There is a concept called "Negative Policy Making"...where you remain silent on certain issues instead of taking action...this is said to be successful.This can be applied to our Life also

A small coin and a big smile

I am a person who loves travelling, going out for shopping,sightseeing etc etc...I love to buy quality items and don't worry about the money spent in buying quality items...of course please do not mistake me for a person who spends money like water...I only buy what is necessary ....I love that.
On a fine day I decided to go to a temple...Anjaneyar temple which is near our house....There I saw a small girl selling flowers.She wanted me to buy some flowers from her which I did promptly.She knew me as I went to the temple often.As the temple was to close in a few minutes,I told her that I will pay her when I return from the temple.She nodded...After a few minutes I returned,only to find that I had only 2Rupees 50 paise instead of 5 Rs....she did not have change for Rs 100.So I told her that I will get change from a nearby shop...She was very nervous b'coz her periamma/chitti whoever it was will ask her.I was very irritated at first as she was very jittery....was not sure whether I would give her the remainig 2.50p....but later realised that those 2Rs 50 paise meant a lot to her....
I was of the opinion that 100's,and 500's have lost their value till I saw this girl whose eyes glittered when I gave her 3 Rs instead of 2.50p.

NO?

Have you thought about this?How many of us can say "No" without feeling guilty.I had not given it a thought until I came across a book having a title similar to this one.
We often are eager to please people and in this process we often answer in the affirmative.We are afraid of the unfriendly stares that we may have to face if we answer in the negative....We hardly realize that we slowly lose our individuality.
Having left my job recently gave me lot of time to analyze my positive and negative points.That was when I came across this negative trait of mine.Even though it is difficult to change oneself at a not so young age ,it is better late than never.
Kabhi haan,Kabhi naaa.....does it look like a karan johar title:)

People?

Of late,I have started studying "Human behaviour".During my "Policy science" class we used to have detailed discussions on Human behaviour and probably that triggered my interest.

Now I have in a small way started to study people [ including me] and my findings have revealed the following:

#In general, people are like mirrors....[A person known to me used to tell me this] ...you laugh at them,they laugh back at you...or....they smile at you and you smile back.There are very few who do it otherwise.
*People help others when needed but are mostly selfcentred and selfish.

#They criticise others when they commit a mistake but fail to recognize it when they do it themselves.

*When people like someone ,whatever suggestion they provide becomes the most apt one.But when people dont like anyone, any novel and excellent suggestion would also be unwelcome.There is an element of subjectivity in each decision.

*People want others to follow their advice...

#The next thing which follows is people do not want to follow any advice...They cannot or would not want to do anything which is ordered by anyone else.They would love to follow their own command including a small kid.

#Parents with only son or sons behave in a different way from parents with only daughter/s...Parents with a son and a daughter seem to be more balanced.

*People who are talkative do not like people who are silent.A silent person invites lot of criticism from others.

*What people really are is completely different from what they talk and what they say they are.

Hope you found this note interesting.:)

Can we go back to the Good old days?

Pollution, Global warming, Acid Rain, Ozone hole, Climatic change ........What term would you associate with these? It is nothing but Environmental Degradation.
In the name of development we have polluted our environment.Go to a city....there you find innumerable posh multi-storeyed buildings [with refrigerators and AC's] in place of small houses, parks, lakes, streams,trees,open space......
Instead of cloth or paper bags,plastics invade the shops.
Walk down the streets and roads [i.e., if you have footpaths otherwise don't take the risk].....you will find it difficult to breathe...coz you will be inhaling a wee bit too much of carbon-di & monoxide,sulphur-di-oxide ....from the evergrowing vehicular traffic.
Ok then....Will go to the outskirts for cleaner and pollution free environment.
Oh My God!There again we find many new factories,leather tanneries to add to the pollution level.
So what happens?
Due to the trees being cut,level of Carbon-di-oxide goes up.....SO2 and CO add to the confusion....
CO2 increase brings in Global warming where the earth gets heated up...icebergs melts,sea level rises....
There is a decrease in rain due to the reduction in the number of trees
Even if it rains an increase in SO2 and SO4 from the vehicular traffic and industries brings in Acidrain....ie., rain water which is acidic instead of basic or neutral.
Use of Refrigerators and AC's release Chloro fluoro carbons which create a hole in the ozone layer.....this layer protects us from the harmful UV radiations....so a hole in the ozone layer is going to be harmful to all the living beings.
In short,We are going to leave behind an environment which will be unfit to live for the future generations.
What is the Solution?
Lots of policies have been framed and implemented,lots of conventions and conferences have been held.....people are made aware of the situation ...with plenty of help from the voluntary organisations.
Awareness among the people and their effort towards environment protection will go a long way in providing us with a friendly environment.This will include adopting age old practices like using cloth bags instead of plastic ones, using chulhas and renewable energy sources,travelling by public transport system, using car sparingly, growing more trees, avoid cutting of trees ......the list goes on...but
Can we do it?

What motivates us?

There were certain occasions when the Prinipal of my college would ask me to sing a prayer song in front of the whole college. My co-lecturers would sometimes request me to write or design a report.During our get-together my friends would ask me to mimic somebody.All these made me feel very important and happy and the feeling that somebody has recognized my talents motivated me . So,what is Motivation?
It is nothing but an inner driving force that activates our moves.It starts with needs and ends with need satisfaction.There are many theories on motivation,some famous ones being Maslow's theory,Herzberg's theory etc.
I happened to read a book titled"Managing Motivation" which talks about motivation in real life situation.The author is of the view that we are easily motivated by four kinds of things/tasks/jobs.

• Those which we enjoy
• Those which are acceptable
• Those which we desire
• Those which are a compulsion

He says nothing motivates us more than love. Love for your work, family, nation etc motivates us to put in our best.We enjoy doing it when we like it ,enjoy it.
There are certain things in life which we accept without any qualms....while doing these things we are highly motivated.Now what about the things which are unacceptable but forced on us ?
Our motivation level dips to zero when we do those things.Why?Because it has been forced on us.
How do we rectify it? Deviating slightly from these points,I would like to make a mention of Atma Gnana yoga which says that in a situation like this we have to think that the command has come from our inner self.Then the unacceptable becomes acceptable.When the command is not from others then it becomes acceptable.Thus acceptability plays a vital role in motivating us in the various tasks that we undertake.
We are forever motivated to do things which we desire or like.The feeling that "It is our idea or desire "maybe motivates us.
An individual may be motivated by rewards, benefits, recognition, skill acquisition or a sense of achievement.There is nothing which motivates everyone uniformly.Individuals differ in what they value and what they value may vary over time.

Perception & Behaviour

Perception is one topic that fascinates me and makes me enter into one such conversation anytime.What is it?
We ,based on our experience and the facts known to us perceive things in a supposedly different way from others.Each object or person consists of innumerable facts related to them.We know only certain facts, so we happen to be far away from reality.Only when we know most of the important facts about a person,thing or a situation we are closer to reality.
Person "X" may be liked by me but not necessarily by my best friend or close relative. The reason can be that I may know some nice facts about "X" which they may not know.We can safely say here that there is nothing like "Good person" and "Bad person"....It is PERCEPTION .What is "Good" or a "Good person" to you may not be that good to me.
A famous policy scientist,Yehezkel Dror talks about Subjective image of reality [SIR] and objective reality [OR]. SIR according to him is the image which each individual has, based on his knowledge i.e.,set of facts.OR is the real picture based on the infinite number of facts.In order to make better policies a policy scientist should be as close as possible to the OR,....i.e.,he should collect all the facts,information possible about a particular problem so that we perceive things in a proper way.Only if an official knows that a certain bridge is weakened will he take effective steps. If his set of facts do not provide him with the information, if he does not know that the bridge is weakened,then he will not be able to repair the bridge.
Though I have not read much books on philosophy,I feel that this also in a way talks about perception.This always talks about detachment and a balanced view of things which prompts me to use the term "Balanced Perception".That is, take things evenly without attaching any importance to a particular piece or thing.